Cora the Performer
  • About me
  • Femme Seeks
  • Musings
  • Upcoming Performances
  • Performance Videos
  • Publications and Reviews
  • Contact Me!

Dear You (august 2011)

8/17/2011

0 Comments

 
Dear You,

I sit here, all dressed up... no place to go... I was supposed to go out, but my plans were cancelled. I listen as the 31 goes by every 10 or 20 minutes. Every time, I imagine it stopping, you getting off, and hearing a knock at my door... I can't even tell which direction it is going, but I still imagine each bus contains you.

even though you prefer the 5 despite the hill...

I know I don't actually want to see you... or I know that seeing you would kill us both. I know that this week has confirmed my decision... yet the firm hand of fear has set itself on my shoulder and won't let go. Fear that I will be alone forever; fear that I gave up the best thing to ever come my way; fear that I am fundamentally fucked up...

Another 31 passes... outbound I think. But no knock.

even though you prefer the 5 despite the hill...

I know you don't understand this and I wish you did. I wish you had've been able to investigate and do the research, rather than retreating into the disconnect world of victimization... I wish this week hadn't confirmed my decision, yet I thank the world that it did...

Another 31 arrives and stops... perhaps inbound this time. But no knock.

even though you prefer the 5 despite the hill...

Another 31; another regret; another disappointment; another moment of devastation...

I pray that one day your path will lead you down a road of understanding so that you will see that you need to do as much work on this as I do... even though you're the one who prays... I pray that one day you will see a glimmer of understanding on the horizon... perhaps just over the hill while on the 31... 

even though you prefer the 5 despite the hill...

Love, me





0 Comments
    Picture

    Cora Leighton

    Thoughts about womyn, bodies, performance, life, play, and general randomness.
    If you think things are about you-- they probably aren't.

    Archives

    July 2020
    April 2020
    February 2020
    October 2019
    June 2019
    March 2019
    August 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    September 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017
    June 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012
    May 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    April 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly