She said so nonchalantly, “that’s some seriously repressed anger” from across the car, and I thought “that’s some seriously narrow version of feminism,” but I said nothing instead.
He accused me of “feminist acting” in his grade challenge. Despite the fact that my chair defended me by telling him that “feminism is not against the rules,” I knew then as I have always known that it was a message. I better watch my back– take copious notes and be careful not to favor the womyn– lest I get fired for feministing… Yet, I said nothing, because I was on the job market and feared the consequences of rocking the boat…
She told me that she didn’t see me as “femme,” what with my harsh exterior. I questioned her definitions but said nothing.
She told me she was so surprised at how soft and tender I am, what with my feminist identity. I looked at her in silence and wondered if that was a compliment.
“I don’t like all of this womyn’s music crap,” she told me on our first date. She continued, “I prefer Eminem to feminism.” One year later, her so-called friend told me “I prefer some hardcore punk to this soft womyn’s music” while cruising me on the path from the Cuntry store to my tent. I almost laughed at the symmetry, but just nodded instead.
The words roll off my tongue so easily, so smoothly; yet, their meaning gets so jumbled and so confused on the way to so many people’s ears.
feministdoes not mean that I am without sensitivity or without softness. Instead it means that I value all of the complexity that goes with my womyninity. It means that I don’t think I deserve to get paid less because I am a womyn and it means that I value all womyn’s contributions to our world. It does not mean that I hate men or ignore issues of race or class in my thoughts and actions. Instead it means I try to speak up when others do and fight for the discussion of racism, classism, and homophobia, alongside and wrapped up in the discussion of sexism. It means that I don’t think that any “ism” can be separated from any discussion.
Feminist means that sometimes I am angry, and that sometimes that anger might appear “repressed” whereas other times it might be up in your face. It means that for years I have been told that I talk to much; to shut up and be quiet like a “good little girl” and sometimes that message still stops me from speaking up.
Feministmeans that I can identify as femme without being weak and helpless. It means that I both own and know how to use a cordless drill– that I built an apartment from studs to finish with that drill. It also means that I can ask for help, support, and protection without somehow being less than. Feminist means that I can play with my femme identity without having to worry that other womyn will somehow condescend to me and expect me to be a static, immutable statue of ideology that has been passed down from the patriarchy for thousands of years. Feminist means I can work for change despite my imperfections and the imperfections of others.
Feminist means all of these things and more, but most of all, feminist means that I can forgive myself when I do not speak up.
He accused me of “feminist acting” in his grade challenge. Despite the fact that my chair defended me by telling him that “feminism is not against the rules,” I knew then as I have always known that it was a message. I better watch my back– take copious notes and be careful not to favor the womyn– lest I get fired for feministing… Yet, I said nothing, because I was on the job market and feared the consequences of rocking the boat…
She told me that she didn’t see me as “femme,” what with my harsh exterior. I questioned her definitions but said nothing.
She told me she was so surprised at how soft and tender I am, what with my feminist identity. I looked at her in silence and wondered if that was a compliment.
“I don’t like all of this womyn’s music crap,” she told me on our first date. She continued, “I prefer Eminem to feminism.” One year later, her so-called friend told me “I prefer some hardcore punk to this soft womyn’s music” while cruising me on the path from the Cuntry store to my tent. I almost laughed at the symmetry, but just nodded instead.
The words roll off my tongue so easily, so smoothly; yet, their meaning gets so jumbled and so confused on the way to so many people’s ears.
feministdoes not mean that I am without sensitivity or without softness. Instead it means that I value all of the complexity that goes with my womyninity. It means that I don’t think I deserve to get paid less because I am a womyn and it means that I value all womyn’s contributions to our world. It does not mean that I hate men or ignore issues of race or class in my thoughts and actions. Instead it means I try to speak up when others do and fight for the discussion of racism, classism, and homophobia, alongside and wrapped up in the discussion of sexism. It means that I don’t think that any “ism” can be separated from any discussion.
Feminist means that sometimes I am angry, and that sometimes that anger might appear “repressed” whereas other times it might be up in your face. It means that for years I have been told that I talk to much; to shut up and be quiet like a “good little girl” and sometimes that message still stops me from speaking up.
Feministmeans that I can identify as femme without being weak and helpless. It means that I both own and know how to use a cordless drill– that I built an apartment from studs to finish with that drill. It also means that I can ask for help, support, and protection without somehow being less than. Feminist means that I can play with my femme identity without having to worry that other womyn will somehow condescend to me and expect me to be a static, immutable statue of ideology that has been passed down from the patriarchy for thousands of years. Feminist means I can work for change despite my imperfections and the imperfections of others.
Feminist means all of these things and more, but most of all, feminist means that I can forgive myself when I do not speak up.
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