I believe in possibilities.

You may think I’m a pessimist, always living in the negative, but what you don’t see is that I believe in possibilities.

And always have.

When I was 8 I wrote President Reagan to tell him to throw away his key to the nuclear bomb. I saw peace as a possibility

When I was 15, 18, 23, 25, 28, 32, 35, 38, and 40, I fell in love. I saw all that we could be. I fell deeply, even though the 16 year old goth/ punk rocker in me sighs and scowls and says I have never actually been in love, including now.

I believe in ghosts.

I believe in an afterlife and a next life.

I believe in fairies and vampires and magic.

I believe in aliens and scientific depth.

I believe someone will love me one day, the way I love them. I believe I am worthy. I believe it will come.

But not with you.

i believe you are capable of honesty. I believe it is possible for you to be direct and real.

but not with me.

I believe in my possibilities.

I believe I have the whole world in front of me. Literally.

And I will not give up these possibilities for this. For this nothing. This pain.

I believed I was better than ghosting. But I also know that’s how this will end.

​Im sorry.

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