Cora the Performer
  • About me
  • Upcoming Performances
  • Performance Videos
  • Publications and Reviews
  • Contact Me!
  • Musings
  • Project Bring the Happy!

One Year

10/20/2012

0 Comments

 
The theme was Beginnings and Endings, and it invaded every nook and cranny of the day and evening...
I felt as nervous as I did a year ago, but for entirely different reasons... I felt sick from the passive-aggressive insults from the night before, yet almost impossibly drawn to them and the pointless desire that it might be more than just that... and both excited and terrified about the subtle flirtation emanating from the chair next to me in some random nonprofit in the Tenderloin.
I remembered making the decision and making the call-- my heart beating out of control with fear and conviction one year prior, from an overly bright apartment in the Castro.
You asked if maybe I didn't love you anymore, and I told you no, but knew your wouldn't believe me. You were already concocting excuses and reasons, all to avoid any responsibility in the matter.
One year passed and I hardly recognize my life or myself.
It's almost like someone hit a switch. Part of me wishes I knew where the swtich was or is.... Perhaps it's one of the two mystery switches at my door, or maybe it's like the bedroom switch, only sporadically working to my frustration.
 Or Maybe that's just how it goes with me.
Beginnings become endings, often more quickly than I would hope... Endings become beginnings sporadically; and I never can figure out why or how...
Instead, I try to just sit with the fear and excitement of beginnings and endings, endings and beginnings... swtiching the switches in a futile attempt to understand... utterly failing and succeeding, at the beginnings and endings of it all.

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Cora Leighton

    Thoughts about womyn, bodies, performance, life, play, and general randomness.
    If you think things are about you-- they probably aren't.

    Archives

    August 2017
    June 2017
    June 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    April 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    January 2013
    October 2012
    May 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    April 2011
    January 2011
    December 2010
    November 2010
    October 2010
    September 2010

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly