push/pull

It took me a while to realize that the bruise on your arm was just a shadow of your fist, headed for my chest...
I looked closer...
As I reached out for you, against my better judgement, I noticed something moving quickly, out of the corner of my eye.
I looked closer...
As I turned to see what it was, I felt the sting of air rushing by my face, my mouth, and my heart...
I looked closer...
By the time my eyes adjusted to the lightning speed of the justaposition, it was too late.
I looked closer,
As I felt the impact, with a thud, deep inside my chest...
I looked closer,
In an attempt to assess what was, what is, and what may be...
I looked closer,
trying to find your eye contact, your compassion, your humanity, and your love...
I looked closer,
only to find an empty space, where I once thought that you held care.
I looked closer,
and realized this fist pounding me in the chest, was really all there ever was.
I looked closer,
to see the shadow-bruise on your arm had metamorphosized into a sword like the one you wanted to carry on halloween... so illegal and needless, but something you felt you needed...
I looked closer,
as any love, care, feeling, and ground vanished like the shadow-bruise of your pseudo-need...
I looked closer,
to see nothing but my own stupidity.
I looked closer and said goodbye to you and your shadow-bruise abuse.
goodbye.