I look to my right and notice a man quietly washing his car across the street at 5:45am. Everything stops inside me as I remember that night in Denver so many years ago when we kissed for the first time and you wanted to wash my car at 2am, but I wouldn’t let you.
I think back to our conversation about fate and destiny and spirituality… one of the many naked conversations we fumbled through this weekend; groping around for the words to encapsulate our thoughts and feelings and the intensity of this experience. My mind flashes on you telling me that you believe in signs, and I think about what this sign means for this moment and the millions of moments I want to have with you in the future. I think about my fear of being crushed.
I take another step forward and say “stay” in a low voice.
When I get home from the gym, after the sun has risen and Brooklyn’s morning noises have become more frenetic and awake, I sit in my soul for a moment, letting the reality of my feelings wash over me. The ease at which we give and receive love fills my head and then moves into my neck, arms, core, legs, and that spot on my neck your lips find over and over.
And I sit fully inside this experience; alone for now; waiting for your breath inside my lungs; knowing that with you, I feel like I am coming home.