Five years ago today I woke up to start my very first and only year dissertating and working in Philly... I woke up at 5am, ready to hit the gym and have a great day. I woke up to a message from My kidney recipient's mom-- Pai Tama was gone...
After a month of fighting this infection, his body finally said no more...
It was 5am. I didn't know what to do, so I went to the gym as planned. I ran until I couldn't run anymore... and then I went to work. I tried not to cry. I was that strong person his mom asked me to be. I put away the tears and tried to just keep going.
I don't know what has allowed me to start crying recently. Maybe it's being held. Maybe it's the 5 years. Maybe it's something else.
If you were here today, I would hug you and feel your soft chest. You would call me in the afternoon and say "Good morning, Sunshine!" You would giggle and we would talk about love... I miss you Pai Tama and am trying to live up to the life you would have wanted for me... I wish you were here to share it. xoxox
After a month of fighting this infection, his body finally said no more...
It was 5am. I didn't know what to do, so I went to the gym as planned. I ran until I couldn't run anymore... and then I went to work. I tried not to cry. I was that strong person his mom asked me to be. I put away the tears and tried to just keep going.
I don't know what has allowed me to start crying recently. Maybe it's being held. Maybe it's the 5 years. Maybe it's something else.
If you were here today, I would hug you and feel your soft chest. You would call me in the afternoon and say "Good morning, Sunshine!" You would giggle and we would talk about love... I miss you Pai Tama and am trying to live up to the life you would have wanted for me... I wish you were here to share it. xoxox
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